Fashion Lessons From the Unfashionable - My Cardigan Story
(Weezer - The Sweater Song)

So I'm not going to lie and tell you that I brought the cardigan back in style. In fact it's been in style for a couple of years now. I will tell you that I bought a cardigan about a year ago and got a ton of grief from my friends for wearing it. Apparently, it was a drastic change in my wardrobe from my classic jeans and rock band t-shirt look. My fashion sense has changed over the last few years as I've matured and my career has progressed. Only natural.

So the story goes -- I bought a gray cardigan about a year ago while in Hong Kong on a work trip. I thought the look was smart but still fun. I wore the gray cardigan occasionally at work and occasionally when I went out at night. You can wear it with a white t-shirt for a casual relaxed look or you can wear it with a tucked in dress shirt with a tie for a more formal look. It's a very versatile piece of clothing.

Then about a month ago, my coworker who sits in the cubicle right beside me decides to change his wardrobe. Let's call him "Tim". He said he needed a change. He wanted to dress more mature at work. So he goes out and buys a bunch of cardigans, dress shirts, dress pants and ties. He proceeds to wear this outfit everyday of the work week. For awhile it was the story of the office. People would ask me, "What's up with Tim and his new cardigan outfits?" Each day he had a different coloured cardigan to go with a different dress shirt or tie.

At first I didn't realize how this would impact me. Then came the day that I wore my cardigan to work. Every other person I spoke with said, "You look like so-and-so today." or "Are you trying to copy Tim?" So here I am with probably the biggest dilemma I've had at work since that time I couldn't decide between a burrito and a big mac for lunch. How do I wear my cardigan again without getting ridiculed and compared to a guy who was 2 years late into the cardigan game?!?

So I schemed and thought hard for a couple of days. The strategy I came up with was simple. I was exaggerating when I said he wore a cardigan everyday of the week. He probably wore a cardigan about 3-4 times a week. However he rarely wore it more than 3 days in a row. So I mapped out his cardigan wearing patterns. And on one fateful Thursday in December, I decided to make my move. It also coincided with the company Christmas party. I wore my gray cardigan with the new festive red tie I had bought while in Seoul, Korea for work. It was time for my cardigan to make it's return!

As I strolled into work, feeling great about this fantastic festive outfit I had put together, I walked by Tim's desk. BLUE CARDIGAN!! WITH A TIE!! 4 DAYS IN A ROW!! So for the rest of the day I had to endure the "Hey where's your twin?" and "You're ripping off Tim's style." comments. Amplified by the social atmosphere at our company xmas party, it was my version of a Nightmare Before Christmas.


(You could say I was "Schuestered".)

And I can sit here and argue back and forth about how I wore the cardigan well before Tim ever sported one but I have no one to blame but myself. I made some key miscalculations in my plan.

1) I miscalculated the risk of wearing the same outfit at a social event as my coworker. It doesn't matter if the chance of Tim wearing the outfit was 50% or 5%. The fact is, if it does happen, it's the equivalent to social suicide. Every woman will tell you this.

2) It doesn't matter who wears the outfit first, it matters only who "OWNS" the outfit. That doesn't mean who looks better in the outfit, because we all know I look better in the outfit. It just means who wears it the MOST. I was never going to "OWN" this outfit, it was merely a compliment to my wardrobe -- not the defining piece.

So I've officially retired this cardigan from my work wardrobe and any events where said coworker would be attending. It is simply not worth the ridicule I faced that day. Just to let you know though, I just started wearing split toe brown dress shoes with some of my work clothes. If Tim shows up to next year's xmas party sporting these, someone better be telling him he's ripping off Khiem's styles.

P.S. The new style of wearing mismatched patterns in an outfit (e.g. plaid shirt with striped tie) was patented by me back when it was a fashion faux pas. You could say I'm years ahead of my time or a fashion pioneer - but I know you won't.

A Le Dong Christmas
(Wham - Last Christmas)

Christmas is here and you can’t help but enjoy the spirit of the holidays. And when I say spirit, I’m not talking about people rushing around buying gifts for others. While it’s a nice gesture, gift buying these days is more of a routine and obligation than it is about sharing with those who have less than us. It goes without saying that we should be giving to those less fortunate but this post isn’t about being a humanitarian or a philanthropist. It’s about enjoying the season and being thankful for what you’ve got.

I love Christmas because it’s the anticipation of seeing family and friends. It’s people going out of their way to decorate their houses and trees for others to enjoy. It’s the look on a child’s face as they see their first Christmas tree. Even in a family like mine where we didn’t grow up with the luxury of spending hundreds of dollars on a Christmas tree and ornaments, seeing the Christmas tree always brought a smile to our faces.

Fact be told our Christmas tree was probably the ugliest tree on the block. It made the Charlie Brown Christmas tree look good. For starters, we didn’t have a lot of ornaments. The ornaments we did have, didn’t match. The tree itself was probably the cheapest fake tree you could buy. I remember one year in an attempt to fill the tree up, we placed all the Christmas cards we got in the mail from family and friends on the tree. Another year we filled the tree with all of our old used toys. The tree was filled with old WWF figurines, GI Joe’s, Barbie accessories and a giant yellow popple (an 80’s furry toy). I believe that was our favourite Christmas tree of all time. I’ve tried to reconstruct what our tree would look like today.



Our gifts were always a mixed bag of WTF and FML with the occasional epic gift. My favourite WTF gifts – underwear, socks, Tiffany’s CD (I might have actually liked this) and the ever popular giant Toblerone. You have to remember, being a kid, wearing underwear was not one of my primary concerns. It still isn’t actually. The FML gifts were the ones my relatives gave to me that I had to wear to school that looked ridiculous. This included a teal coloured sweater with giant polar bears on it, a full body black snowsuit, a jean outfit that included acid washed jeans and matching vest, topped off with cowboy boots. Of course you can almost forget and forgive those presents when you get your favourite Transformer, GI Joe and a red bmx bike. In retrospect having more shitty gifts always keeps you humble and more appreciative of the few great gifts in your life.

There were always those great treks to see relatives. Driving 10 hrs down to Washington DC to visit my aunts, uncles and grandparents. During those trips we would be huddled in the backseat with blankets as my dad rolled down the window every 15 minutes to smoke. You see, he wasn’t allowed to smoke with the window because 2nd hand smoke kills. However, -20 C winds blowing through the car was a mere nuisance easily cured by jackets and blankets. And since this was pre-GPS, my parents were always good for at least one argument after we got lost b/c my mom would fall asleep in the passenger seat (a family skill passed on from generation to generation) and my dad would continue to drive straight until someone told him to turn. All was well though when we arrived to a large family gathering with our grandparents happy to see us. Of course there were always tears of sadness from my grandparents as we left to go back to Toronto.

Now as we grow older, we still do the family gatherings but we don’t make those long treks anymore. At least not as frequently. Most of our holidays are spent locally with the immediate family. And our family Christmas tree doesn’t always make an appearance anymore. I’m not sure why. Maybe it was all of those years of us kids making fun and being ashamed of it. Maybe it’s because now that the kids have grown up and left the house, my parents have no one to decorate the tree for.

So this year I’m having the family over at my house for Christmas dinner for the very first time. It will coincide with relatives coming into town for my baby sister’s engagement party. It will be another large gathering and reunion. This year more than any year, I’m looking forward to buying and decorating my own tree for my parents and our relatives.

Happy holidays everyone.

Tokyo Drift
(Stars - Wasted Daylight)



(In the way your hand hits the wave
In between the dreamer and the breath
Long beside the bitter of the skin
Today won't know when to begin)

About 10 yrs ago, I was suppose to move to Japan to teach English. At the time, everything in my life was very uncertain. I had just graduated from university and I wasn't sure as to what my next steps in life were. My parents had hoped I would go to medical school but I couldn't live up to their expectations. I was also in a relationship with a girl from Texas that I didn't know was going anywhere. It was a struggle daily to figure out how we would bridge that distance between us. It seemed like the wrong time for me to just get up and go wander the world, make the distance between us larger. I convinced myself that I needed to sort out my life, understand where it was headed before I could go on an adventure. It was my responsibility. It was also an excuse for me to avoid my fear of uncertainty.

So I turned down the offer and stayed in Toronto. I found work at an electronics manufacturing company. It wasn't related to my degree but it would help me get started in paying off my student loans. Ironically, it paid half as much as I would've got paid in Japan. The long distance relationship didn't improve. I didn't have any experience that an employer would want to go through the trouble of arranging a visa for me to work there. So I spent a year trying to sort things out but got absolutely nowhere.

The following year I decided to throw caution to the wind and re-apply for that job. I got an interview with the same company. In the interview, they asked me why I turned down the job the previous year. I told them I wasn't ready at the time to make that leap of faith. I waited anxiously for them to call me back. They called me back a week later to let me know that I did not get the job. They felt like I couldn't commit to it. And there you had it -- an opportunity that stared me in the face and I let it slip by.

As the years went by, my friends and family all had the opportunity to go to Japan. Each and every time, they'd come back with stories of how wonderful it is there. The adventures they had. The great culture they soaked in. Each time it was just more salt in the wound for me.

So here I am sitting in my hotel room in Seoul. Trying to collect my thoughts about the weekend I just had in Tokyo. I took a day off from work on this 2 week business trip and decided to fly to Japan to finally see what I had missed out on all these years. After watching inception on the plane ride to Seoul last week, I had hoped that Tokyo wouldn't be as overrated and overhyped as that movie was for me. You have to remember that Tokyo had been hyped up in my mind for the past 10 years. If it didn't live up to my expectations, I would've been devastated.

And there were many hurdles in getting to Tokyo once again. This time I couldn't find a cheap direct flight there from Seoul. The flights using my air miles were only first class and only left early on Friday morning. I had hoped to not miss too much work and fly out Friday evening. I finally told myself, "Who knows when you'll have this opportunity again. Missing one day of work will not make or break the project." I booked that flight. I had a wonderful time. Tokyo was more than I had ever thought it would be. Extremely clean, wonderfully built and so immersed in history and culture. Not to mention the great food and great company I had with a few friends who were there as well.

Now I'm back to reality getting prepared for work tomorrow. I've got one more week in Seoul and then it's back to Toronto for the next little while. It doesn't seem like I've missed a step even though I took time off for myself. And that's what I need to keep telling myself. That taking time off doesn't mean I'm going to derail my career or my life. I just need to step back sometimes and regain my balance before getting back on this high speed train that is my life.

That's what I will tell my grandchildren one day. Don't worry about the uncertainty. Life will not leave you behind. Don't regret missing out on your Tokyo.

Hello From Narita
(Eminem - Love The Way You Lie)



Did a crazy wicked rendition of this song at karaoke last week. Channeling the anger and passion of Marshall Mathers. It was nice to get some anger out. I guess maybe I'm angry at overworking myself and just tiring myself out when I should be enjoying life. It's been 5/6 weeks on the road now. I'm back to Toronto for 2 weeks and then I head out for another 2 weeks to Korea. I missed basically half of my summer. I know I have no one to blame but myself. Sometimes I don't know how to say no to people and sometimes I just like to be a workaholic. That's why this song is so perfect. I know sometimes I torture myself.

On a lighter note, here's a funny story. I'm sitting in Narita airport right now on a 9 hr layover from Kuala Lumpur. Just woke up from a nice 3 hour nap in a private sleeping area where they have lounge chairs with foot stools so you can put your legs up. The nap felt pretty damn good but after I woke up I discovered that the chair I was sitting in actually pulled completely out into a bed position. Of course I'm wide awake now. FML.

Oh...I bought a ninja outfit in one of the souvenir shops here. Will go great with my sword and throwing stars at home. Parents never allowed me to have a ninja costume when I was younger. Never too late to be a kid again. I should wear it the next time I go visit my parents just to spite them. Yeah that's right, your 34 year old son bought his own ninja suit...how do you like them apples?

Does anyone take a lot of enjoyment out of being able to bypass lines at the airport with their Elite airline status? I mean I have an unhealthy enjoyment out of essentially budding in line and then looking back at the 30-40 person deep line and chuckling under my breath. Sorry losers, I've been in transit for 31 hrs so you can suck it! Wait, I've been in transit for 31 hrs, I'm probably the loser here. At least I have status bitches!

Wow...this was an unnecessarily angry post. I'm sure I will be happier when I arrive back in TO.

I think someone once said, "You only have one life, but if you do it right, one is enough." I'm not doing it right, right now. I need better work/life balance. It's a continuing work in progress for me.

One comes by the sea; one comes by the land and no one lives to tell the tale.
(Sigur Ros - Glosoli)

149, 150, 151, 152...oh Hi. I didn't see you there. I was just doing some pushups.

So my stay here in Kuala Lumpur is winding down. I've been here 5 of the last 6 weeks. Some highlights of my trip?

- Finding out from my life insurance company that my quote went from $28/month to $186/month after they found out I've been travelling here for work the past couple of months.
- Eating a rubbery piece of freshly shucked oyster at an all-you-can-eat karaoke bar and not getting sick.
- Watching a coworker sing and dance to Kesha's tik tok (that nearly made me sick).
- Realizing I had only packed enough underwear to last me til the 2nd last day before I leave for home. It's ok though, I can just turn my last pair inside out.
- Total days missed because of weekend travel, missing Canadian holidays and/or working weekends = 10, FML.
- Diarrhea from something I had eaten...twice.
- Total number of fake watches asked by friends/family/coworkers to bring back = 9.
- Haven't had a haircut in about 5 weeks so my hair is in the "too long to gel, too short to put in a ponytail" stage.
- Saw a monkey on the street begging for food.

So looking forward to being back in Toronto for a couple of weeks. I really miss my bbq. And maybe my wife. ;) Looking forward to playing bball and vball. Lots of home stuff to take care of when I get back...ughh.

Oh...and at the beginning of October I have a date with destiny. Her name is Korea. Haven't been there before. Probably would enjoy it if it weren't for work and if it weren't on the back end of a 5 week trip to Kuala Lumpur. Le sigh.

Anyone know Hyori Lee's or Yuna Kim's address?

Ok...gotta go...

You hang up! No, YOU hang up! Ok, on the count of 3, we both hang up together.
1-2-3. I knew you wouldn't hang up!

Hello From KL
(Michael Buble - Home)

Home in 2 weeks but then the week after that off to Seoul, South Korea for 2 weeks.

By the end of that trip I will have travelled 7 of the past 9 weeks.

It's lonely. Work is stressful. I miss home. Where is my salvation?

My Childhood Home
(Arcade Fire - The Wilderness Downtown)

Back in TO
(Eminem - Love The Way You Lie)

4:30 am back in TO. Jet lag in full effect right now and I'm watching some youtube videos to pass the time. Sometimes I wonder why I continue to do this. Travelling back and forth between continents for work. If I hear another person say, "you're so lucky to get to travel to exotic places for work!" I'll punch them in the mouth. I know I always have the choice to quit but sometimes it doesn't feel that way. People tend to set a standard for themselves and then they're unwilling to fall back from that standard. You never want to take a step back in anything you're doing. You're either in it to win it, or you fall to the back of the pack. That's the way I feel about my career. It's not that want or need to make more money. It's that I don't want to fall back to where I started. Seeing my friends all graduate and head off to work, while I struggled to find a job was one of the worst times in my life. It's probably this fear of going back there that keeps me going. I hope one day I can overcome that fear and walk away happy with what I've done in my life.

More Tidbits from KL
(The Egg - Wall)



In Kuala Lumpur, if I want to buy a shirt that looks like it's been painted on my body, I buy a medium. If I want to buy a slim fit shirt that helps me do a standout robot impression, I get a large.

If I want to buy a regular fitting shirt, I need to go to a "western" store where I would buy a medium.

I feel like a fat westerner here. Which makes me want to get some exercise and lose some weight.

However, no one jogs in Kuala Lumpur. In fact I've been told no one but westerners jog in all of Asia. What is it about Asia that deters jogging? Are people less concerned about physical health/appearance here? Are the streets and sidewalks less safe for joggers? The sidewalks are definitely narrower and more congested. The cars on the street definitely do not give right of way to pedestrians. It's also 40 C here everyday. The gods are definitely conspiring against me getting back in shape.

...

I have a "special" coworker that ranks probably a 15/10 on the scale for unintentional comedy. We attended an awards show for our client's sales force this past weekend. Upon arriving in the grand ballroom that seated over 2000 sales reps I noted how there were bags of balloons in the rafters. I then commented about what time those balloons would be raining down on people. Her comment was this...

"Balloons don't fall down, they go up."

Sometimes I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Here are some famous sayings from her in last 2 trips we've made to KL.

"You should try to see things from a different ankle."

"A hole is a hole, it doesn't matter which one." (while playing pool)

"Maybe I'm just acting dumb."

...

Today a random stranger stopped me in the street and passionately said to me, "you know, you are a very lucky man but you think too much."

Prophecy or just a random crazy stranger? Makes me wonder. My mom also had my fortune told recently on a trip back to Vietnam. She said that the fortune teller told her that I would be very lucky and prosperous in my 30's but there's a risk that I would lose it all in my 40's.

Now I'm not one for destiny and such, as I find destiny just makes people lazy as they wait for their own fate rather than work towards their goals/dreams; however, it still makes me nervous.

...

Late next month, I may be blogging tidbits from Korea while I hunt down Hyori Lee and Yuna Kim.

Tidbits from KL
(Arrested Development - Mr. Wendal)

This week's theme is GHETTO and I AM OLD. You know what I mean? Holla at yo boy! I've always wanted to say that. I've also wanted to spill a 40 for all the boys I've lost in the hood. To date that number would be zero. Hurry up and die already fools! Sorry, that got dark. I got nothin but mad loves for my peeps!

So I'm in the hood this week. Yup, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Managing my first project. Exciting times I tell you. The only difference I've noticed so far is that I get to boss more people around than I normally do. High five for being bossy. *smack* For realz tho, it's nice to be able to delegate work instead of having work delegated to you. Though I will tell you this, there is legitimately a lot of things to do as a PM. There's a lot more responsibility involved in managing a project than I would've given any PM credit for in the past. It's funny how you actually appreciate what another human being goes through when you walk a mile in their shoes. You so crazy ninja!

Ran into some body/hygiene issues today...

1) I noticed some wrinkles that weren't there before on my forehead this morning. What the hell?? Damn you old age! So I bought a big quicksilver sun hat at lunch to hide it. Problem solved.

2) I also noticed one long nose hair growing out of my right nostril. Unfortunately I left my nose hair trimmers at home and could only find a pair of tweezers in my travel pack. I had to make the tough decision between waiting til I could find a safe pair of scissors or go through the excruciating pain of plucking the offending hair out. Cuz seriously, there's nothing more distracting than when you're talking to someone and their nose hair is waving at you.

3) While plucking the long nose hair out, I noticed a white nose hair. What the hell! Damn you old father time!! I didn't pluck this one out. I'm still waiting to get over the pain of the first pluck. Plus this one isn't waving at anyone.

So about to get ready to go have some dinner with the project team and then we're headed to the sky lounge to have some drinks and get krunked. It's been a long week and I think I deserve it.

Another week before I head back to TO. Can't wait. I miss you crazy cats.

We've Only Just Begun
(PSB - Being Boring)

She was never bored because she was never boring.

One of my favourite pet shop boys songs is about the ideals that you have when you're younger and how they turn out as you grow older. Kind of interesting to think back to that age and what you thought the world would be when you grew older. How completely naive we were and yet how completely convinced we were that we had a solid grasp of the differences between right and wrong. And then comparing it to what we believe today. For me it's night and day.

Just for a good laugh, I'll tell you this -- at around age 12, I thought I'd wait til I found the right girl and was married before I had sex. By age 16 I had revised this belief to waiting til I was 18, the legal age of sexual consent. I might have made that up. By age 17 I thought, what the heck, I don't have to wait. It was ok because I had met my one true love and would marry her one day. And by age 19 I thought she was a lying, cheating, fat whore. That just got awkward. Some people call me a cautionary tale. :P

So what does it say if the difference in our beliefs is radically different today than what it was back then? Have we grown and matured along with some of our ideals? Have we revised our beliefs to justify our actions? Or have we become jaded and lost hope in those pipe dreams? They're probably all correct for different people or even different points in a person's life. I just find it interesting to chart the natural path of our beliefs and ideals.

Before I get too serious, I'll tell you this. Even though I feel as though I've grown immensely as a person over the years, I really miss being a kid. Kids are highly impressionable which I think is completely to their benefit. Being impressionable means you can easily find inspiration. Being inspired is the first step to finding your passion.

Growing Pains
(Florence + The Machine - Addicted to Love)

I know I haven't written in awhile but such is the pace of life these days that I really do not have time to sit and reflect much. There's always something to do now that I have a full-fledged career, got married and . I also need to support all the new adult debt I've acquired in the past couple of years. I thought owning a condo was a big step and tons of responsibility. I've entered the next phase with this house and it seems as though there isn't enough I can do to catch up.

And it would almost seem as though there's some negativity in my voice but there are definitely positives to all of this. As painful as the work and effort put into growing up, the reward is what keeps us all going isn't it? I mean we all do this to realize the dream of one day having a family and owning a house where we can watch our kids grow up, don't we?

Which gets me to what I've been thinking about lately...

It seems as though the older I get, the more accelerated my growth and maturity occur. I remember trying to understand myself and struggling with figuring out who I was and how I was going to accomplish things in life. Wishing I could just solve the puzzle and get to the finish line sooner. I didn't really appreciate the process as much.

These days, things are happening at such a fast pace that I am a bit scared that life is simply going to pass me by. How do I slow down the pace and simply enjoy the adventure more? Am I destined to simply spend all my hours working and supporting the family and renovating/maintaining the house? I keep joking with my friends telling them that "This is my nightmare!", but the reality is that it's part of the dream I've always wanted for myself only now that I've arrived, it's overwhelming.

I'm hoping and I suspect that I am right that the pace of life is like a bell curve. You spend your early years really struggling to find yourself and equip yourself with the best tools to succeed in life. It's a slow process. Then as you hit your 30's, you know your goals and your dreams are no longer the pipe type and you're well equipped to fulfill them. Fast forward to your mid to late 30's and now you've hit the ground running and before you know it, you've got a family, a full-fledged career and you spend your weekends fixing things around the house and making sure the kids are well-adapted for the same journey you took. By the time you hit your 50's your kids are (hopefully) no longer as dependent on you and are making good decisions based on their wonderful upbringing. Now is when things slow down for you and you sit back and enjoy watching your kids face the same challenges. Your career is no longer going up but rather holding steady until you're ready to retire.

This is when I hope to sit back and fondly reminisce and reflect upon the sometimes slow, sometimes fast-paced rollercoaster ride that was/is my life.

Back in Black
(Sigur Ros - Hoppipolla)

So I'm back...it's been awhile but things got busy. Busy but still fun. That's the key to keeping a nice steady and balanced life. You can work as hard as you want as long as you keep it fun and interesting. Here's a good example. We have a group chat at work that allows us to ask our coworkers work-related questions. Here's a conversation we had the other day.

[Kynan] Is there a way to reset the admin password outside of the admin client?

[Zak] arg ..
[Zak] don't ask these questions ..
[Kynan] eg. the admin forgets
[Kynan] it's your man Woody
[Zak] log in as scheduler
[Kynan] he wants to write up a stored procedure to reset the password in case of problems like that
[Zak] change it
[Zak] we won't support that shit
[Kynan] I told him
[Zak] you know the answer ..
[Zak] :P
[Kynan] Hey Woody,

So, while your script may probably work, Varicent does not support or condone any manipulation of the model database outside of using the Varicent Admin client frontend.

Historically, I have found that if the model appears to have been tampered with, our Support group may classify problems as ‘customer created’, which can cause issues and delays.
I wouldn’t recommend using a script or stored procedure like this for that reason.

Khiem: you type quick

varicent: [jameslane1] Speedy

Khiem: gonzalez

varicent: [Zak] that's what she said

Khiem: she's just a smalltown girl

varicent: [Kynan] living in a lonely woooorld
[Zak] she took the mid night train
[Zak] going anywhere
[Kynan] he was a city boy
[Zak] born and raised in south Detroit

Khiem: I started the lyrics to don't stop believing on a chat
my life is complete

varicent: [Zak] fuck Khiem
[jameslane1] Ha

Khiem: tell Woody if he messes with the backend he's gonna be a smalltown girl living in a lonely world b/c support isn't going to help him

varicent: [Zak] LOL


Ok lots to update but not so much time to organize my thoughts. So I'm gonna just spout the first things that come to mind.

Sonia and I just bought a house. It's ridonkulously expensive but it's in the same neighbourhood we've lived in the last 3 years and it's also on the subway line, which is important. Our house is a bungalow with a finished basement and 2 elevators. That's right, 2 elevators. It was owned previously by a couple that was handicapped so they installed two elevators to go from the basement to the main floor. Now I'm looking for a little man in a suit to operate the elevator when we move in.

The week after we bought our house, we sold our condo. It sold on the first day it showed and we got very close to what we had asked for which was nice. Special thanks to our real estate broker Jojo and our friendly staging pro Anna.

I went to a work conference two weeks ago in Phoenix, AZ where I did a presentation in front of 70+ people. First time, and surprisingly I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be. I guess practicing my presentation countless times and being prepared actually helped. Go figure. I remember being deathly afraid of public speaking in high school but I think I've made strides over the last 5 years. Which goes to show you, there isn't a crutch you can't overcome. Whether that's building an elevator because you are in a wheelchair or whether that's developing a skill you never thought you had. I don't know if that last statement was awful or motivational. #youdecide

Also managed to win about $1000 at the poker tables on the last night there. The $1000 will be going towards my new bbq for the new house. Can't wait to furnish my favourite part of the house! While Sonia is preparing her grand plans for renovating the kitchen, I'm preparing my plans for my dream patio. It involves a Weber bbq, patio lanterns, an above ground fireplace and a nice patio furniture set. T-29 days before we move in. Can't wait!

Overwhelmed
(Kristy McNichol - Hold On)

Still overwhelmed at work. Too many projects, too little time. Also very stressed and nervous about that upcoming conference I'm suppose to speak at. No it's not "Fatherhood, the Journey". That's later in the year. Get your tickets before they're sold out. Actually the conference I'm speaking at in May is a company conference for all of our clients where I'm suppose to speak about implementation best practices. Not entirely exciting but a good career move I've been told.

You know what soothes my soul when I get overwhelmed and stressed like this? The first thing is good food. Probably one of my favourite Vietnamese dishes involves fresh spring rolls with noodles, veggies, herbs and either shrimp, pork or both. Favourite herb to put in my rolls? Wait for it...fish mint. Yes I know it's not a very popular mint because of the name and strong taste but for some reason my palette just loves it. I had this dish with the wife yesterday. I am still craving it as we speak.

Here's what fish mint looks like...



http://vietherbs.com/herb-directory/fish-herb/

The second part that soothes my soul when I'm stressed involves a cheesy 80's movie. Just got my Pirate Movie dvd in the mail the other day only to realize that it was in PAL format (British format) and is incompatible with my dvd player. Nothing a little pirated software I got called WinX DVD Ripper platinum didn't solve though. Yup, you got it -- I used pirated software to convert my Pirate Movie. The irony!

Not sure how many people actually know this movie but it's an 80's musical based on the Pirates of Penzance starring Christopher Atkins and Kristy McNichol. Kristy looks exactly as I remembered her. I wonder what she looks like now. Actually I don't care what she looks like now, I'd rather remember her when she was in her prime...the way I wish to be remembered when I'm gone. For those wondering what I looked like in my prime...I was 125 lbs soaking wet and looked awesome in a wrestling singlet. Not like these guys below. Actually completely opposite to these guys below.



Anyhow, what calms and eases your soul when you're stressed out? I'd love to hear. I'd also love to hear what your favourite cheesy 80's movies are.

Forget the Rest
(Modest Mouse - Float On)

So it's been a crazy busy couple of weeks at work. I'm fully engaged on a very complicated, under budgeted and poorly scoped project and I'm supporting an overseas client that does not know the meaning of a 12 hour time difference. I also have an internal project I'm working on and prepping for a presentation I'm doing at our annual company user conference. But enough of the bitching and complaining...

Just a few random observations from the past few weeks...

Have you ever noticed that whenever you order chicken nuggets from McDonald's that there's always that one person that asks you if they could steal a nugget? Now let's forget the simple fact that guys do not typically share food. The only time they share food is with women they're trying to get to sleep with them and women they're deathly afraid of (but still want to sleep with them). Now I'd like to propose a simple rule that we should live by here and please remember this one well.

Thou shalt not ask a man for a chicken nugget if he has ordered a 6-pack lest you want to be punched in the face. The punching in the face part may be a bit harsh but have you ever tried to take food from a dog that's hungry? They will bite your finger right off. A 6-pack is about the exact size to satisfy a man's appetite. A 10-pack at times I feel is slightly overeating unless I'm starving. 5 nuggets would simply be one short of being full. You never want to just partially fill a man's stomach up. That's like a torturous game of "just the tip" in the bedroom. I don't think I can drive that analogy home any clearer. Sharing a 10-pack = ok. Sharing a 6-pack = punch in the face.

Second thing I noticed this week is that just like Seinfeld said, muffin-tops are really the best part of a muffin. I can't tell you how painful and anti-climactic it is to finish off the bottom of the muffin. I mean you have to peel the paper off and then it's all soft and crumbles in your hand. It's not ideal to eat at all. I mean the best part about the muffin-top is that it's crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside. It allows that nice contrast and makes half the mess the bottom of the muffin makes! Someone seriously needs to open up a Muffin-Tops Store near my place. They could sell muffins and low-riding jeans!

Third and final thing I thought about this week is how it used to be cool to wear messenger bags; satchels; manpurses. From what I remember it was definitely cool in university. Now when I wear a sidebag of any sort, unless it's for work, I feel completely out of sorts. Like I'm some sort of lost soul. Which brings me to my 2nd rule of the week.

Thou shalt not wear a messenger bag/satchel/manpurse unless work calliths upon thee. It is also appropriate to wear one on a long soul-searching journey like Kwai Chang Kain.



However, this is only appropriate if you cannot find a stick and a large tied up handkerchief for the journey like this guy.



It is definitely inappropriate to wear one out on a social event.



Not cool man. Not cool.

Lastly I'd like to mention that I'm still on the p90x wagon and so far I've lost about 2 lbs in about a week, though that could simply be because people have been stealing my nuggets. Hopefully by the end of this week I can gauge to see if I've actually made any improvements on my weight and fitness. Talk to you all soon.

Shock and Awe
(Snow Patrol - Run)

In high school I used to joke around with my friends at the time that if my girl ever got to *insert arbitrary weight for given height here* lbs, that I'd have to put her on the "program". The program being any sort of workout/diet program that would put her below that acceptable threshold. Of course at the time I was 5'8" and 125 lbs soaking wet. It's easier to throw stones when you don't live in a glass house that's 10000 sq ft and has 100 rooms.

Fast forward 15 years later and I have crossed my own personal threshold (170 lbs) for obesity and I have started the dreaded "program". The program involves 6 days a week of intense workout and watching what I eat.

I'm not sure how I let myself go this far but there are a few hypotheses.

1) As you get older, you become less active and spend most of your day sitting at a desk job staring at a computer.

2) As you get older, your metabolism slows down.

and my personal favourite...

3) Relationship gut. When you are in a committed relationship you a) have less time to worry about personal fitness and hygiene. b) don't care about putting an effort into looking good anymore. or c) you spend more time at home cooking and eating with the significant other.

Have you ever noticed that the more committed the person is, the bigger the gut? I think there's a direct correlation here.

Sadly I think the reason I'm so fat is all of the above.

Keep checking into this blog people...I may post pictures of my humongous belly at some point!! Yes I'm awesome. And inspiring. Awespiring.

I Mostly Have Red Pills
(Taio Cruz - Break Your Heart)

I've been catching up on tv shows lately. Here are the list of shows I've managed to watch in the last 4 weeks.

Dexter (season 4) - If you haven't seen this show yet...you're DEAD TO ME!! I mean seriously. This has got to be the best drama on TV, bar none.

Modern Family (season 1) - Some have said it's like Arrested Development meets the Office. It's a little more like the Office in the type of humour and the way they shoot it, but minus the annoying lead character (Michael Scott/Steve Carell).

How I Met Your Mother (seasons 1-4) - A little like Friends but with better characters. I mean characters that have a bit more depth. Neil Patrick Harris steals the show though. Talk about revitalizing your career.

Next up for me is True Blood (seasons 1-2). I've heard good things. Anyone a big fan of this show?

---

So I've told you about my transformation over the years from being an introvert to an extrovert. I've set out bit by bit each year to conquer my fears of human interaction. However, not all changes come without some sort of consequence/side effect. The side effect of my transformation is that although talking to people no longer makes me cringe, I sometimes make them cringe with the things that come out of my mouth. You see, when you've spent your entire life talking primarily with your "inner voice" and you attempt to vocalize that, you forget that the inner voice has no filter. So I have a hard time not saying the first thing that comes to my head. I'm trying though, really.

Now the other thing I haven't been adapting well to is that with regular human interaction, you have to deal with a lot of people who are very emotional. The filterless voice in me really wants to say moody emotion whores but let's sugarcoat this for those who can't swallow the red pill. People who are easily excited, saddened, angered, etc. Generally people who are not afraid to show how they feel.

I can't coexist with these types of people. At least not right now.

My flaw is that I lack a filter and can be insensitive at times. Their flaw is that they take everything people say literally and need to act out their emotions to make everyone else feel awkward. Sorry...filter on! Their flaw is that they can't hide their emotions and are easily hurt by what others say or do. It's like mixing gas and fire.

Now I'm obviously an evolving human being and I want to be able to handle emotional people a little better but these are the early stages of my evolution. If you can't handle a bit of brutal honesty with a lot of sarcasm, then you're DEAD TO ME!!...haha....jk. Seriously though, you always have a choice of whether you want to tolerate someone's behaviour but it's not always your choice whether they are going to change to accommodate your feelings or not.

---

So what's the next thing I'm going to try to conquer? I'm going to try to talk to random strangers more often. Just thinking about it gives me the heebeegeebees.

Moon Child
(Limahl - Neverending Story)

A few classics were on tv on the weekend. Neverending Story and Princess Bride.

Bonus points to the first person who can tell me the name Bastian gave the princess to save Fantasia from the Nothing.

Would love to hear some thoughts about the symbolism in the "Nothing". I haven't really given it much thought but maybe the Nothing is symbolic of people's lack of faith. Not lack of faith in religion but rather just believing in something. Living with some sort of purpose.

Here's a cute picture I found...



Reminds me of my dog. He's getting a bit old these days. Turning 9 years old in May. He pulled one of the muscles in his hind legs the other day jumping into the car. Now he hobbles around my sister's place. It's funny cuz he's still got the same energy as when he was 1 but his body is completely failing him. A+ for effort though.

We can't be young forever but like my dog I'm holding on as long as I can.

Momentum
(Sara Bareilles - Gravity)

So I've been travelling the last few weeks with a coworker of mine. She's a 27 year old girl who's lived her entire life as mommy and daddy's only child. As you know I have a penchant for being completely filterless (aka tactless), I told her that she lived a sheltered life and called her bubble girl. Now most of you would probably call me mean and I wouldn't blame you. Some of you though, might actually think that I'm trying to be helpful (would like to buy you guys a drink). In actuality it's probably a little of both.

It frustrates me to see people who can't see outside of their own little world. These are the people in arguments who can't see the value of another person's point of view. The people who are convinced that the way they live is the only way to live. These are also the same people who miss out on all the great opportunities life provides us.

If you are not running with your opportunities, then you are not running. Those who don't run quickly find themselves left behind.

It's hard to change, no one disputes that. Working towards change is something everyone struggles with. The attempt to change one's own momentum so that inertia acts in your favour is something I think everyone should be doing. To not even make the attempt is disheartening to me.

Inertia can be your friend or your foe, it really is up to you. If you are in a shitty place and you let inertia weigh you down, then you're giving into your own dispositions. If your relationship is broken, make changes, work on the relationship. If it ultimately does not work, be brave enough to walk away.

If you're in a great place and you're travelling a 100 miles an hour, lose yourself in the moment. Don't let life's worries and stress take it away from you.

As you get older inertia plays a bigger part in holding you back. When you've got a routine going it's really hard to change with all the intertwined responsibilities you've got. At work, at home -- it becomes something so hard to disturb and so difficult to break free of. So when you get the opportunity to change the everyday norm - suit up and gather some speed. Because you'll love the wind in your hair.

Take the opportunity to do something outside your normal routine/comfort zone. Get out. Have fun. Spring is in the air.

My Life - A Work in Progress
(Dragonette - Pick Up The Phone)

It's been 10 years since I've graduated from university. Can’t help but look back at how awesome this decade has been for me. The two biggest changes in my life? – my career and my wife. I was pretty consumed in university of finding a) my calling; and b) my partner in crime.

Finding your calling is really a smaller subset of figuring out who you are. I used to think the sooner you found yourself, the quicker you'd be able to enjoy your life. So much of defining myself after university was based on figuring out what it was I was good at and how I would make that my career. I spent my entire post secondary education trying to live up to my parents dreams instead of figuring out my own. It wasn't easy but the moment I let go of the notion that I had to follow someone else’s footsteps, I quickly paved my own path. I went back to school, did a post grad in database management and here I am today with a successful career in software and one that even my parents are proud of. Parents want you to succeed and sometimes they think the only way for you to do so is to follow the path they've laid out for you. Well, I’m telling you that you can pave your own path and most of the time this is in line with what your parents want for you. If it isn't, at least you did it on your own terms.

Similarly finding your partner in crime is also reaffirming who you are. If you can find someone who you enjoy spending your time with, who can understand your worries and fears, who can share the things in life you find important, and can share in your dreams -- then you’ve got a great grasp of what are the components of your life that make you happy. That’s you in a nutshell. And all the painful iterations of loving and losing seem all worth it in the end.

It really has been an incredible decade for me.

I’m waiting for someone to interrupt me here and say, “Khiem, I’m happy for you and I’mma let you finish but my decade was the greatest decade of all time. OF ALL TIME!” Anyone?...anyone?...no…I didn’t think so.

(The Stars - Undertow)

Haven't listened to the Sad Robots album by the Stars in awhile. Great album. The irony isn't lost on me because I know a thing or two about being a robot.

Speaking of robots...I wish this robot had some heavy artillery so I could use them to shoot my clients.

While here in Malaysia starting a new project with another client. An old client of mine emailed me this...


Hi,

We need to resolve the issue of transposing the result of “TST298734” - AccountPlan data into 12 columns at the earliest since the natives are getting restless.

We also need to close out the following with your help:
1) TST00073987 - UAT: Query Library Accruals Report Issues --- since this has been tracked for a while. I think the resolution is as easy as checking all components and making sure data comes up.
2) TST00064821 - Formal: ReportsTo Tree --- show how to add people to reports to tree as the Task generation does not add any new payee. Also you cannot create new rules under reports to tree.

Please advise a time that works for this discussion.
Thanks
Client


Now if you're wondering who the natives are -- they're Indians that live off the land AND work for my client.

So here's the typical responses that go back and forth between us...

"I'm not sure I have time to look at these items this week as I'm at a client site and I am 14 hrs ahead from you guys. When do you need these completed?"

"Oh we need this fix by yesterday...we need it urgently for the next release that's happening this week...when can you work on it? You're 14 hrs ahead of us?...then you should be available to do a quick meeting at 7 am your time/5 pm our time right?"

"Ughh...yeah I guess I can be available at 7 am my time for a quick meeting. I can't guarantee I'll have time to work on it this week but I'll see what I can do. If you need this urgently, I would suggest you contact _____ and he can help get a resource to work on this right away."

"Great...and we'll send out a recurring meeting every night at 10 pm your time or 8 am our time to get a status on the progress."

"Ughh...I'm not sure I'll always be available but sure."

"Well we'll schedule it and if you're not available, just let us know and we'll reschedule."

"Sure."

"Great!...Really appreciate your help on this!"

---

Now this is usually how I get roped into doing an extra 10-15 hrs of work each week at night after I get home from working at my existing client office. And after I complete the items, there's usually a few days silence before I get the next wave of requests the following week. Sometimes I'll if I'm lucky I won't get responses from them for months.

---

Then 3 months later we'll have this typical exchange...

"We need a fix on this test item because it needs to be completed for our next migration."

"Didn't I fix this 3 months ago?"

"Yes but we just tested it and didn't see any results in the report...it was blank."

"Did you test in DEV or TST?...cuz my fix was in DEV and I told you guys how to migrate it to TST the last time you had an urgent release."

"Ughh...we tested it in TST. Oh we see the results in DEV now. We must have forgot to migrate it last time."

"Wasn't it urgent that it made it into that release 3 months ago?"

"Yes...and it's even more urgent for this phase. Can you help us migrate it?"

---

This is why I need fricken lazers on my head. FML, I'm going to bed.

Durian Durian - Hungry Like a Wolf
(Paramore - That's What You Get)

I love durian. It's an exotic fruit that smells pungent but has a buttery sweet taste to it. The great thing about Asia is that it's readily available almost anywhere and in many different forms. The bad thing is, even some Asian people can't stand the smell.

Today after lunch I bought some durian mochis and brought them into the client office. Within 2 minutes I had sent half the office scrambling around to find out where the smell was. When they saw me eating the mochis, they looked at me and started to laugh.

I didn't care though. I have no shame.

Since last week I've had the following durian products...

durian mochis, durian ice cream and durian cake...

I wonder if they sell durian body lotion. My skin gets really dry in the winter.

Hello From Malaysia
(The XX - Intro)

So whenever I tell people I'm going to such and such, they're always like, "I'm so jealous!" or "I want your job!" I really have to remind people that work travel != vacation travel. The equation looks a little more like this work travel = working in a building that's located in another city. Sure you're a few steps from enjoying an exotic country but that's like working in an office with a great view of a sunny summer day you can't enjoy. It's one big cock tease. My job is basically learning to cope with blue balls.

Anyhow, I've been in Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) since last week for work. I also visited some friends in Singapore this past weekend. Haven't seen much while I've been in either countries but I have enjoyed the food and people here. Some of the things I've eaten...durian mochis, chilli crab, laksa (spicy soup), Singaporean chicken rice and bak kut teh (pork soup).

The general population for both countries is about average looking. The only reason I mention this is because I found Hong Kong surprisingly below average. It's almost like they banished all the ugly people to Hong Kong island. Wait...maybe that's why my work sent me there! Damn them! All kidding aside, after a few weeks in HK, I barely noticed this. When I got back to Toronto though, everyone looked like supermodels.

Back to KL and Singapore -- they love their shopping. There are a ton of huge malls here. All with very couture brands like Chanel, Burberry, Versace, etc. Prices are comparable to N. America with no significant discounts even with the great exchange rate.

So I hear the new George Clooney movie "Up In The Air" is a good representation of my last year of travel. I think I'll have to see this next week when I'm back in Toronto again. I should be grounded for the next few months. It'll be nice to get back to a normal local routine again.

Missing everyone in TO. See you all soon.